Friday, 6 March 2015

A long and rambling post about life, the universe and everything

It feels so odd coming back to this blog. If I was the kind of person to make long drawn-out comparisons I'd liken it to coming home after a vacation that was only supposed to take a month but lasted a lifetime. The carpets and skirting boards are dusty and the corners of the walls are ridden with cobwebs. Everything's right where you left it, apart from the last-minute cleaning you did so the house would be nice to come back too. But it's cold, bitterly cold, and the rooms seem so empty and deserted. There's an air of nostalgia, the feeling that things happened here that they'll speak of in legend. This was my kingdom, the realm which I ruled. Where I started as a lowly peasant and single-handedly worked my way up to something great.

But I'm not that kind of person: so I'll call it what it is. A shitty blog nestled in a small corner of the internet that a very small group of people pretended to like because I used big words to justify my stupid opinions back when I had no clue how actual criticism worked. But, this is where I started, this is where I first took that baby-step into the strange world of online-indie-pop-music-criticism, and after walking those 500 miles I walked those 500 more to get back exactly where I started (haha, jokes!). But seriously, this is where the Ellie you knew was born, and this is where she dies. I'm sorry to the person I already told this because it'll sound like I'm repeating myself (it was a really good metaphor). This is closure.

I'm a broken human being. I'm a glass vase that got pushed off a shelf one day. I was glued back together, but even then the vase will be weakened and forever carrying those scars again. And if it breaks again, the shatters will be in the same place. This is me minimizing the people in the vicinity of the glass when it breaks again. I don't want people to be hurt by the glass.

So I'm leaving. Blacking out my Twitter and Youtube, deleting pretty much everything else. I won't be using any of them for any sort of interaction, don't even try (if anything, trying will make this harder for everyone). I need to leave and the best way to leave is to make it impossible to come back.

See you around AND MAY YOU CONTINUE TO BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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